Supporting Positive Behaviour in Young Children

Big feelings are a normal part of growing up. For young children, learning how to share, take turns, express their emotions and cope with frustration doesn't happen overnight. These are skills that develop gradually with the support, patience and understanding of the adults around them.

At House on the Dials we believe that children's behaviour is often a way of communicating how they are feeling. Rather than describing a child as "naughty", we look beyond the behaviour and try to understand what may be causing it.

A child who is struggling to manage their behaviour may be tired, frustrated, overwhelmed or anxious, or they may simply not yet have the words they need to explain how they feel. By taking the time to understand what a child is communicating, we can respond calmly and help them find more positive ways to express themselves.

Our team is supported through relevant training and access to appropriate expertise, and we seek additional advice from outside professionals where this is needed. This helps us provide a consistent and considered approach to supporting children's behaviour.

Helping children feel secure and included

A strong sense of belonging is an important part of helping children develop positive relationships and emotional wellbeing.

We make time to talk about feelings, similarities and differences in ways that are appropriate for each child's age and stage of development. We want every child to feel welcomed, valued and an important part of our nursery community.

When difficulties arise between children, we focus on supporting everyone involved rather than giving unnecessary attention to behaviour that is inconsiderate. We help children begin to understand how their actions can affect others and encourage them to think about different ways they could respond next time.

Encouraging positive choices

We place much more emphasis on recognising positive behaviour than on focusing on behaviour that we would like to change.

Children receive encouragement and attention when they are being kind, considerate, helpful or thoughtful towards others. This gives them positive examples to build on and helps them understand what respectful behaviour looks like.

We don't use "naughty chairs", isolate children from the group or use physical punishment. Children are never threatened, humiliated or physically punished for their behaviour.

Physical intervention would only ever be considered where it is necessary to prevent injury to a child or another person, or to prevent serious damage to property.

Celebrating effort, not just achievement

We believe that encouragement can be particularly powerful when it focuses on the effort a child has made rather than simply whether they have achieved the desired result.

Instead of relying on rewards such as stickers, we use specific praise to help children recognise their own progress. For example, we might say:

• "You kept trying even when it was tricky."

• "You worked really hard on that."

• "That was very kind of you."

• "I noticed how you helped your friend."

  
  

This type of encouragement helps children recognise their own abilities and develop an internal sense of achievement. It can also help build perseverance, resilience and confidence, encouraging children to have another go when something doesn't work the first time.

Over time, we want children to feel proud of what they can do and comfortable trying new things, rather than feeling that they need praise or a reward every time they succeed.

Supporting sharing and turn-taking

Sharing and waiting for a turn can be difficult skills for young children, particularly when they are excited about a favourite toy or activity.

We try to reduce unnecessary frustration by providing a wide range of resources and activities, including enough popular resources wherever possible. This gives children plenty of opportunities to play, explore and learn without creating avoidable competition.

We also encourage children to become involved in managing their own turn-taking. For example, sand timers can give children a clear visual indication of when a turn is coming to an end and when they can have their own opportunity to play.

This helps children understand the idea of waiting, while giving them some independence and helping them see that turns are fair and predictable.

Every child is different

There isn't a single approach to behaviour that will work for every child. Children develop at different rates and may need different types of support as they learn to understand and manage their emotions.

By building positive relationships with children and working closely with their families, we can develop a consistent approach that reflects each child's individual needs.

With patience, kindness and encouragement, we can help children develop important skills such as emotional awareness, self-regulation, confidence and resilience. These skills don't just support children during their nursery years - they provide an important foundation for their future learning and relationships.